Last night my almost 3-year old son said, “Mommy, I am going to die.” I was shocked. Here I was giving my son him a bath and he says this. I thought to myself, what do I say. What is the follow-up? I simply followed up with questions. I asked him, “What did you say?” He said, “I am going to die.” I asked, “Where?” He said, “Right here.” I asked, “When?” He said,“Right here.” So then I followed-up with a response I have been trained not say: “Champ, you can’t die right now.” As a clinically trained chaplain, you are supposed to just listen to the patient and not impose your desires onto them. But I just couldn’t let this end with reflective listening. He then followed-up with his usual “Why?” “Because I love you.” “Why?” “Because you’re special.” “Why?” “Because God made you special.” “Ok, Mommy.”
What in the world? What the heck? What am I to do with this? So this morning, I just looked at him and smelled him. I closed my eyes and just breathed in his scent. I couldn’t imagine him not being in my world anymore, especially to death. What does a Mommy do when part of her being dies? I work with people everyday who lose loved ones. I’ve worked at length with mother’s who have to say one last good-bye to their child. It is painful just to watch. But the thing is that it is inevitable-someday. The child might be 3 or 63 but it could happen. What do you do in the meantime? You love them.
Whether alone or in a family unit, you must love on your child. Even when you’re exhausted, love them. Show them that you care for them. Show them that their existence in this world matters to you. Yes, they can get on your last nerve with that 80 millionth tantrum but they are yours and they matter. Their insistent “No!” should matter to you because at least you can hear their voice.
I don’t know why my son said that. Maybe it was a premonition or a prophetic word; maybe it was the Spirit telling me to appreciate his presence in my life more than what I have been. Who knows but it was said. Thank God for another day to be a mommy to my child.
Mother’s—you’re awesome (in case no one tells you today).
Peace and blessings,
Aurellia
About Me
- Aurellia
- Aurellia Anderson is a passionate woman about God. She enjoys inspiring and encouraging others to live their life on purpose (even when her own life needs a pick-me-up). She is a hospital Chaplain, licensed minister with the Evangelical Covenant Church, and the President of her own company, Hidden Gem (www.HiddenGemCo.com). A mother, entrepreneur, ChurchChick(TM) , and just your average ray of sunshine-Welcome to the Personal Blog of Aurellia Anderson.
