Hi Mommy bloggers! It has been a while since I last blogged. Why? Because I don't like reaching out to the cyberworld? Of course not! Because I have nothing to blog about? Certainly not! It has been because there has been so much change and transition taking place in my life that I haven't had the opportunity to catch myself up. But today is the day.
I have started a new job. A job that is in my passion field. (This means a career that has something to do with what I am passionate about). This job is not only in my passion-field but it has a great benefit package that would suit my family's lifestyle a lot better than my previous job.
But every good thing comes with its sacrifices...
I have a really tough schedule which would have me making decisions regarding my child that I just am not comfy with. I have a choice of what part of his day I will participate in-drop off or pick up. See, my new job is an hour commute from our home. His school's hours would not meet my schedule of needing to drop him off or pick him up. So you can imagine the heartache I feel when "Mom's gotta do what mom's gotta do."
The first day was tough...Mommy no longer worked at his school in the office and he realized that. So our "Good-bye" took longer than usual. He just held on and would not let me go. At first I am thinking that he is just playing but something in his hug let me know that this was real...he really didn't want to let me go. So on day 5 of this new journey we are on, I just held on a little longer. He put his lil head on my shoulder and I held on a little longer.
If I were to never get another hug from my son, this hug could last me a life.
Blessings to you,
Aurellia
About Me
- Aurellia
- Aurellia Anderson is a passionate woman about God. She enjoys inspiring and encouraging others to live their life on purpose (even when her own life needs a pick-me-up). She is a hospital Chaplain, licensed minister with the Evangelical Covenant Church, and the President of her own company, Hidden Gem (www.HiddenGemCo.com). A mother, entrepreneur, ChurchChick(TM) , and just your average ray of sunshine-Welcome to the Personal Blog of Aurellia Anderson.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Day 2 Weekend without my son
Day 2 without my son
733a
I don't know if this is considered day 2 but it sure feels like it. I heard that he is doing well. He is being himself. I woke up this morning around 530a like usual and felt that instant twinge that he wasn't in his bed. I was in his bed. Yes, I slept in his bed. Don't misunderstand, he has been away before; I have been away before. And it's always hard being away from him. So as for me, I am up making Banana Nut muffins for a grieving friend couple of mine and then off to our youth group's firework booth. Le sigh...
1014a
At starbucks now about to do some work. There is a sense of calm knowing that he is somewhere with someone not because I NEED him to be but rather for recreational purposes.
513p
I am having a time at the firework booth. My son is having a ball at Auntie's house. I just want to see his face. I want to hear him say "But Mommy..."
742p
So I called a friend to lament about being without my son and how much I missed him. Do you know what he told me? "You reeeeally need to get out more." He said that with so much conviction in his voice. He didn't explain further but I assume it had something to do with not enjoying time "off" from caring for my son.
I was a little offended. But then I thought about it a little later and I asked myself, Do I hide behind caring for my son? I don't think so but maybe I do. Maybe I allow myself to be overly consumed with caring for my son to actually go out and socialize for me. Maybe. Or maybe I am just a mother/parent who assumes responsibility for the one whom she's responsible for.
819p
And I'm calling it a night.
Blessings,
Aurellia
733a
I don't know if this is considered day 2 but it sure feels like it. I heard that he is doing well. He is being himself. I woke up this morning around 530a like usual and felt that instant twinge that he wasn't in his bed. I was in his bed. Yes, I slept in his bed. Don't misunderstand, he has been away before; I have been away before. And it's always hard being away from him. So as for me, I am up making Banana Nut muffins for a grieving friend couple of mine and then off to our youth group's firework booth. Le sigh...
1014a
At starbucks now about to do some work. There is a sense of calm knowing that he is somewhere with someone not because I NEED him to be but rather for recreational purposes.
513p
I am having a time at the firework booth. My son is having a ball at Auntie's house. I just want to see his face. I want to hear him say "But Mommy..."
742p
So I called a friend to lament about being without my son and how much I missed him. Do you know what he told me? "You reeeeally need to get out more." He said that with so much conviction in his voice. He didn't explain further but I assume it had something to do with not enjoying time "off" from caring for my son.
I was a little offended. But then I thought about it a little later and I asked myself, Do I hide behind caring for my son? I don't think so but maybe I do. Maybe I allow myself to be overly consumed with caring for my son to actually go out and socialize for me. Maybe. Or maybe I am just a mother/parent who assumes responsibility for the one whom she's responsible for.
819p
And I'm calling it a night.
Blessings,
Aurellia
Friday, July 1, 2011
My Weekend without Big Baby Boy
Weekend without my son
523p
Day one without my son. It has been three hours and I am like "It is too quiet. Something is wrong." It just feels like something is wrong. I always visualize about what it would be like to have a couple hours to myself. Now that I have a whole weekend, I dont know what to do with it.
841p
I am here at the comedy show supporting family and I am sitting in the back. You know why? I am a little sleepy because i just woke up. Yes, I fell asleep after coming home. I had no son to play with, take to potty, feed, play with, scold, take to potty. Life without him? I dont know what that feels like. I dont think I like it.
905p
I am at this great event but I can not but stop thinking about big boy. I definitely miss him. Wonder what he's doing? I think I am going to call the sitter.
1114p
Having a good time at the comedy show. Laughing as if there is no care in the world. I did text my Godsister and she said they were at church and he was sleeping. She said he had a great time, made friends, ran around. Just retelling the story makes me smile because I can just feel his spirit so happy and carefree. Ahhhh...true connection. I couldn't miss him growing for anything in the world...
523p
Day one without my son. It has been three hours and I am like "It is too quiet. Something is wrong." It just feels like something is wrong. I always visualize about what it would be like to have a couple hours to myself. Now that I have a whole weekend, I dont know what to do with it.
841p
I am here at the comedy show supporting family and I am sitting in the back. You know why? I am a little sleepy because i just woke up. Yes, I fell asleep after coming home. I had no son to play with, take to potty, feed, play with, scold, take to potty. Life without him? I dont know what that feels like. I dont think I like it.
905p
I am at this great event but I can not but stop thinking about big boy. I definitely miss him. Wonder what he's doing? I think I am going to call the sitter.
1114p
Having a good time at the comedy show. Laughing as if there is no care in the world. I did text my Godsister and she said they were at church and he was sleeping. She said he had a great time, made friends, ran around. Just retelling the story makes me smile because I can just feel his spirit so happy and carefree. Ahhhh...true connection. I couldn't miss him growing for anything in the world...
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