Day 2 Weekend without my son

Day 2 without my son

733a
I don't know if this is considered day 2 but it sure feels like it. I heard that he is doing well. He is being himself. I woke up this morning around 530a like usual and felt that instant twinge that he wasn't in his bed. I was in his bed. Yes, I slept in his bed. Don't misunderstand, he has been away before; I have been away before. And it's always hard being away from him. So as for me, I am up making Banana Nut muffins for a grieving friend couple of mine and then off to our youth group's firework booth. Le sigh...

1014a
At starbucks now about to do some work. There is a sense of calm knowing that he is somewhere with someone not because I NEED him to be but rather for recreational purposes.

513p
I am having a time at the firework booth. My son is having a ball at Auntie's house. I just want to see his face. I want to hear him say "But Mommy..."

742p
So I called a friend to lament about being without my son and how much I missed him. Do you know what he told me? "You reeeeally need to get out more." He said that with so much conviction in his voice. He didn't explain further but I assume it had something to do with not enjoying time "off" from caring for my son.

I was a little offended. But then I thought about it a little later and I asked myself, Do I hide behind caring for my son? I don't think so but maybe I do. Maybe I allow myself to be overly consumed with caring for my son to actually go out and socialize for me. Maybe. Or maybe I am just a mother/parent who assumes responsibility for the one whom she's responsible for.

819p
And I'm calling it a night.

Blessings,
Aurellia